6 Feet Under gets Quakerism half-right

Note to everyone: if you’re not interested in either Six Feet Under or Quakerism, do feel free to skip this post!

Note to 6 Feet Under Fans: No spoilers below, I promise. Incidental details only.

There are not a lot of television shows I give a rat’s ass about, but I do love this one. Despite the fact that I think the writers became way too melodramatic a long time ago. And what’s with Nate’s bizarre behavior? (Just an example, this week, Maggie said, “Life is scary,” and Nate responded a little too loudly and with a demented grin, “It’s fucking terrifying!”)

So this week on 6FU,
Nate visits a Quaker meeting. For some reason, he can’t stop calling it a “Quaker Church.” I doubt I have any Quaker readers, so I should say that the Quaker religion has a few major branches in the US, and yes, there are Quaker churches. I won’t bore you with the detailed taxonomy. However, I would say Nate attended a liberal unprogrammed Quaker Meeting. (“Unprogrammed” just means there’s no minister, no set service or program: everyone sits and waits, and if they are moved by the spirit to say something, they do; there are also “programmed” meetings where at least some of the meeting is planned, and there might be readings, agreed-upon-in-advance singing or other features typical of other denominations.)

The other thing that was odd was that the meeting was held in a room that looked like a cross between a typical Protestant church and (oddly enough) the Fisher’s funeral parlor. This was inauthentic to me, because everyone was sitting in pews all facing in the same direction, as if they were looking at an altar. I’ve been to around 15 different meetings and never seen such a situation. The idea is that you face one another at least to some degree (typically with at least two sets of rows facing one another, sometimes four sets of rows, all facing a “center,” or a circle of chairs, depending on what’s possible). In Nate’s case, he had a room full of people talking at one another’s backs.

And then when they opened their mouths, well–that was a bit off too. It was bizarre that a member of the meeting stood up and asked for a lift home during the actual Meeting itself. It might seem like you can just get up and say something anytime you like, but that’s not what’s supposed to be happening. And this woman was obviously a long-time attender. At the end of the meeting, one Friend started singing a song and everyone joined in, knowing all the words. This is possible, but improbable: I have heard people sing spontaneously during an “unprogrammed” meeting a few times, but I have never seen everyone join in.

Sadly, the meeting that was portrayed was did not seem in any way what Quakers call gathered (loosely defined, by “gathered” I mean that there’s some sort of unity present in the room; often this becomes visible–or audible rather–by the messages which are shared vocally). If I had seen this show, it might not make me want to visit my first Quaker meeting.

On the other hand, it was nice to see Quakers in the popular media. We don’t get much airtime, you know. Most people think they’ve never met a Quaker, even if they have. Two folks I worked with when I was 21, asked me if I used electricity: confusing us for Amish (who speak a dialect of German and live a pre-modern lifestyle) and Shakers (who are celibate and all-but-extinct) is typical.

So despite these little quirks, and despite the fact that Nate seems to be losing his marbles in general (which, one hopes, would not make folks think Quakers loopy by association), it was nice to see. My favorite famous practising Quaker? Dame Judi Dench, of course! She went to a Quaker boarding school with A.S. Byatt and still attends meetings regularly. She’s quoted as saying, “It’s the only time I’m still.” My friends would probably attest to the fact that it’s the only time I’m quiet.