Entries from November 2004 ↓

Well, if you enjoyed Sorry Everybody, then you’ll love the sequel, Apology Accepted. Now that that’s out of the way, what do we do now? Can we skip the global-equivalent-of-makeup-sex and do something?

We need a website called whatthef***dowedonow.com? (Don’t click, it’s just an idea.)

Not that I don’t like thinking about the global-equivalent-of-makeup-sex.

Hmmm… podcasts are fun. What is podcasting? See iPodder. I am right now listening to a really bad Air America feed of Morning Sedition (bad audio–tinny and full of echoes–but too soon to see if it is a bad show).

But the individual podcasts–made by Jane and Joe Schmos around the world–that I’ve checked out have been veddy interestink and been of MUCH higher audio quality. For example, the engagiing Dawn and Drew Show, which I checked out after Bicyclemark blogged about it. Come on, Air America. I haven’t listened to them on the clunky normal radio yet, but their RSS audio feeds are crap. What is with that?

And come on, BBC Radio, do you really need me to listen to streaming audio, or try and hijack those streams using Audio Hijack?

Oops. I think I am giving off a lot of rants lately. Sorry for the pent-up hostility. The you-know-whos have stopped barraging me with random comments as per the last few days of hell, so I should chill out now.

“Naxalite,” by the Asian Dub Foundation.

Well,

Maybe they saw themselves being mentioned.

Or maybe they spammed everyone these last two days, figuring Americans would be so busy downing the bird that we would miss the fact that upwards of 60–count ‘em 60–comments would flood our sites in two days. T*xas H*ld’em, except for one each from a d*bt c*nsolidation and one from a ph*ntarmine fan.

Damn… I have to take the time to install that comment filter. Moderating comments is killing me.

Enough already!

After taking a bite from her sandwich, she realized that a woman’s face was staring back at her. The grilled cheese sandwich sat on the woman’s nightstand… and after she’d saved it for 10 years “She said the sandwich has never sprouted a spore of mold.” Clearly, something supernatural is going on. The woman believes it is the image of the Virgin Mary. Yes–but did she appear so that the woman would be able to extract $28K from an online c*sino? “In a statement, GoldenP*lace.com CEO Richard Rowe said he planned to use the sandwich to raise money for charity.” Umm, Richard, you could have just given $28K to charity. It would make a nice little endowment. What is he going to do now, to make the sandwich worth more than $28K? So, we’ve got capitalizing on a Marian apparition, by selling it to a gam*ling enterprise, so they can offer charity… There’s so much weirdness in this sequence of events, I don’t even know where to begin… CNN.com – ‘Virgin Mary’ sandwich sells on eBay for $28,000 – Nov 23, 2004 Update: loyal readers will have seen my comments about nasty bots that post comments with g*mbling-related names and URLs. It’s the reason that, for now, I have an email field in my comments form. Well, I have probably had 15 of these comments to various postings since I began blogging a month ago. But since I posted this message, I’ve had 27 more, in about a day. So… I have gone into this message and added asterixes to all references to g*mbling. Maybe I am being paranoid, but writing about their favorite topic seems to have brought on the bots. (It isn’t so bad, you know. What if the spam came from the Virgin Mary? Now that would be freaky…)

Imaginary shares in my blog are worth $1000. Pretty good for someone with one reader. And I thought people selling imaginary gold and imaginary piles of poo for real money was weird… Okay, I guess that’s still weirder by far. BlogShares – verbalchameleon.com

Craigslist is great. Craigslist helps people hook up, you know, sell that old washing machine, find a new apartment, and oh–someone of polar opposite views to one’s own for mini-flight-club. Straight male seeks Bush supporter for fair, physical fight – m4m

“Where is your business located?

“Unlike the vast number of websites on the Internet, we are NOT BASED IN PAKISTAN. Our company is based in North America. We want to make this very clear so everyone knows that they can reach us by dialing 1-888-774-9994. Our office is located in Toronto and our writers are based out of the United States, Canada, U.K., and Australia. All of our writers are Native English speakers meaning their first language is English and their experience in this matter will be evident in your essay. We are meticulous about what our writer’s produce because we understand that we are only as good as the last essay we write.”

Let’s leave behind the bizarre suggestion that “the vast number of websites on the Internet” are based in Pakistan. (Obviously, they meant to say “essay mill websites,” rather than “websites,” but even so, is this true?) The only legitimate reason this might be a problem is if a wonder-bread-eating, blonde, Swedish-American from Minnesota turns in a paper with obvious traces of English that clearly originates from another corner of the world, be it Ireland, Pakistan, or Australia. (Please, no hate mail; I have nothing against the wonder-bread eating community.)

What this paragraph says to me is “we don’t know how to use commas, apostrophes, or the past tense.” I was thinking this site might be that of the group the wonderful-but-defunct magazine Lingua Franca ( R.I.P.) profiled years ago–in a wonderful expose of a Canadian essay mill. But the people in that story seemed quite intelligent.

I am not a grammar fiend. I make spelling and punctuation errors a-go-go. Heck, there are some in this very posting. But when people are buying essays for upwards of $60 for four pages, well, doggonit, they deserve quality.

Check it out: (Questions – James Joyce Essay, Critical Essays on James Joyce, James Joyce Essays Boarding House, James Joyce free essays

Not least confusing was why a site called http://www.essays-james-joyce.com was doing selling essays on such a wide variety of subjects.

But maybe I shouldn’t diss them. Selling and buying essays is morally reprehensible. But so is the exploitation of contingent faculty (adjuncts). Maybe soon all of us overeducated underpaid exploited academic workers will just sell out, and sell our essays. In the new world of the academy, will students buy essays from ex-adjunct professors to be handed in to other adjunct professors? I think if if it comes to that, I’ll instead just go into Management Consulting.

Here we go… all I can say is, “Senator Boxer, Help!!!”
The New York Times > Washington > Negotiators Add Abortion Clause to Spending Bill

Negotiators Add Abortion Clause to Spending Bill
By SHERYL GAY STOLBERG and CARL HULSE

Published: November 20, 2004

WASHINGTON, Saturday, Nov. 20 – House and Senate negotiators have tucked a potentially far-reaching anti-abortion provision into a $388 billion must-pass spending bill, complicating plans for Congress to wrap up its business and adjourn for the year.

The provision may be an early indication of the growing political muscle of social conservatives who provided crucial support for Republican candidates, including President Bush, in the election.

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House officials said Saturday morning that the final details of the spending measure were worked out before midnight and that the bill was filed for the House vote on Saturday.

The abortion language would bar federal, state and local agencies from withholding taxpayer money from health care providers that refuse to provide or pay for abortions or refuse to offer abortion counseling or referrals. Current federal law, aimed at protecting Roman Catholic doctors, provides such “conscience protection” to doctors who do not want to undergo abortion training. The new language would expand that protection to all health care providers, including hospitals, doctors, clinics and insurers.

(for the rest of the article, click the link)

Ohhhh, an even more engrossing cat link. Try “Bi-lingual,” “Fetch #2″ or “Stealth.” my cat annie – zefrank.com

Hmmm… Dealing with difficult people? Do they send you hostile emails? Try Ze Frank’s (brief) communications tutorial.

Finally, someone understands what kitties really think. They are not the obsequious, toe-licking, please-love-me-I’ll-do-anything-really-anything creatures that dogs are (God love ‘em). No, cat’s are pissy, critical, demanding.

If they were human, who’d date them?

I was always a dog person. I used to have lukewarm feelings about the cats of friends and family–I never loved them. Until one day, Kooky strolled up to me and my dog, looking hungry, but clean, and friendly–looking like, “Where have you guys been?” That was my cat. And so I took him home.

My Kooky gets everything he wants, and at the end of a really rough day, when I am totally exhausted and won’t do anything for anyone, he gets me to rub his head or under the chin just so–and purrs like an old motorcar, and I am jelly. I am a slave to my cat’s love. Why? What is the nature of cat magic, that makes us dote on them even though they don’t _really_ do anything for us but purr? He’s like my pimp: I work, I do anything he wants, I give him all my money and love. He purrs.

(Do you know, by the way, that cats in the wild don’t purr? They learned this behavior when they lived with humans.) I digressed. Check out this site and see cats displaying their true selves. MyCatHatesYou dot com

See Irwin? This is the kind of geopolitical restructuring I was saying we should have right about now… why move to Canada when the mountain will come to Mohammad? Not A Dollarshort: Canada 2.0

Okay, before anybody tells me I am a flaky Sagittarius, hear me out. Since I was on the Tribune site anyway (see below), I had a look at my horoscope. That’s the paper I remember being pretty spot on–especially with Birthday horoscopes. Anyway, today’s was:

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Today is a 6. Some of the things in your closets or attic are quite valuable. Recycle or sell them, and refill your empty pockets.

Today is a 6. And what was I doing for an hour right before I looked at my Horoscope? Gathering CDs I no longer listen to, so I could sell them on amazon.com. Yes, I do this from time to time. But I had not done it for 3-4 months.

Granted, “quite valuable” is probably an overstatement. My 2 volume Four Tops Anthology is only worth $7.99? What gives?!? Are there that many of them floating around?

I spent the summer after high school working as a security guard in Terminal 1. So I found this story interesting. He isn’t the first young buck to be pushed out of his herd and then choose to live in an airport… Chicago Tribune | Deer captured in O’Hare terminal
Deer captured in O’Hare terminal

By Jon Hilkevitch
Tribune transportation reporter
Published November 16, 2004, 2:56 PM CST

Chicago Animal Control officers today captured and removed an unlikely traveler–a young deer–that wandered into the lower level of Terminal 2 at O’Hare International Airport.

The animal, a young buck, was spotted on airport grounds between 11 and 11:30 a.m. and inside the terminal shortly afterward when it apparently walked through a freight door on the side of the building, officials said.

The deer was at the north end of the building, away from the baggage claim area. Airport personnel used plastic construction fencing to contain the creature until Animal Control officers arrived.

The officers used a tranquilizer gun to shoot and subdue the deer. The animal was removed from the airport by 1 p.m. It did not gain access to any secured areas, and operations were not disrupted by its presence, officials said.

The buck appeared to have been injured, possibly struck by a vehicle, officials said. It was not immediately known if the animal survived its capture or what Animal Control would do with it if it had.

Officials theorized the animal had been pushed out of its herd by other males and was looking for a sanctuary. They suspected it may have gained access to O’Hare by following Interstate Highway 190 into the airport.

Copyright � 2004, Chicago Tribune

Maybe I am not watching the news enough right now, but I found Olbermann’s blogging of recent recount developments on his MSNBC site helpful and encouraging–as much as can be, right now.
MSNBC -

A woman disguised herself to deliver the Friday sermon at one of the largest Mosques in Bahrain… is she, as some news reports have claimed, “mentally unstable”? Or is that simply a designation applied, as usual, to uppity women who don’t “know their place”?
Chapati Mystery: Stand and Deliver

From 1/2 of America to the rest of the world: Sorry Everybody

This is an amazing little brief film from Pharyngula.org: a crow making a tool and using it. At first I thought it was a crow with a bong, so that tells you where my mind is at. Check it out! Pharyngula::A cunning dark bird

Interesting correspondence:

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